Feed the Starving Faith: February 2015

I'm going to start writing letters to my sweet boy into this blog. I already apologize in advance if the letters start to consume the site... I feel often there are so many things I want to share with Hudson that he just can't understand yet. I figured there was no better way than to write them down on my blog! He can read them when he is older and hopefully it will fill his heart with love, like he fills mine each and every day.

My little man,

You are creeping up on being 8 months old and it makes me think about those beginning moments that we had. I often find myself thinking about those first few weeks and I get angry with myself... I did not allow myself to be happy. Our breastfeeding relationship did not come easy and I fought so hard to make it work. I have absolutely no regrets because to this day, we are still nursing and I could not be happier about my decision. But I was so overly consumed in emotion and stress that I didn't get enjoy those tiny little toes more. My hormones were so out of control that I didn't get to kiss on you as much as I wish I had. The first 3 weeks were more of a blur than an enjoyable experience. Although, I think that is the experience that every first time mom endures so I don't think this is a pity party for one. But each time I think I want the chance to re-experience those first few weeks, I think about where you are today. Full of smiles, laughter and personality. You bring so much joy to each day that I cry thinking that you will one day grow up. Each day, you surprise me with what you can do. You are starting to understand our sign language and have fully grasped "All Done." while you don't do it yourself, you fully comprehend when mommy does it. You constantly babble "Da da" and tell us about your day and your little world. You are on the brink of crawling on all fours but you have officially mastered the army crawl. You are incredibly quick! You love being in the jumper roo and will bounce for an hour at a time. You had a fabulous first Christmas. We spent a few days in Rogers, Arkansas with Nana, Uncle Jay, Aunt Molly and Cousin Samuel. We then drove through the night to Colorado to see your Grandmama, Papa, Uncle Will, Great Grandma and Great Aunt Betty. You were spoiled rotten. Your favority gift was a "Rockin' Ridin' Pony" that grandmama got you. I love you little man, you are my heart and the most perfect gift god has ever given me.

Love you, little man
Your mom